Events over the past few decades could give the false impression that the Ottoman Empire was on the decline. Mired in conflicts in the Balkans and against Greece and Russia, the Empire was in desperate need of a war that could restore confidence to this fractured state.

Fortunately it found one, and in a series of brilliant military campaigns the Ottomans were able to not only reclaim ownership of Greece and the Balkan nations, but also the southern half of Ukraine and the entire Italian peninsula. This is where I find the victorious Sultan, enjoy the spring weather in conquered Rome.

I must congratulate you on your recent successes. What do you think was the Empire’s greatest achievement during this war?

The Sultan reclines and smiles.

“For my own personal enjoyment, I would say the two years immediately following the Austrian crippling of Russia in the autumn of 1904. It was a volatile and uncertain time and, as a result, extremely interesting to observe. There were a lot of armies in the field and a large possibility space to consider, and I think Ottoman forces moved and engaged optimally.”

Things obviously worked out in the end, but is there anything you would have done differently?

“No, as you say everything went very well. Although, I hasten to add, not as a result of any particular skill of insight of mine. Italy and Germany immediately made themselves convenient bogeymen to draw Russian and Austrian ire. Then, as Rome burned, I received word that Russia planned to disband its southern fleet and that Austrian armies would soon over-extend north. Under such conditions it would have been difficult not to arrive at a sensible course of strategy. Had I abdicated the Sultanate to my horse I imagine he would have done much the same.

The Sultan pauses, reclining and sipping some more sweet tea.

“Thinking back, I suppose I could have gambled more on French disorder and committed some of my fleets to the conquest of the Iberian peninsula in 1905 instead of leaving them to guard Gibraltar. I had assumed, in a well intentioned but ultimately misguided fit of political correctness, that the French would not just surrender to the first competent military who turned up at their borders.”

The Russo-Ottoman alliance last almost the entire length of this war. When it was clear that Russia was doomed you took Sevastopol, cementing control of the Black Sea. Was there any temptation to make a move against the Russians earlier?

“Absolutely not. I made every effort to never explicitly betray, attack or lie to anyone unless it was generally perceived that they had already done the same to myself or an ally. One can commit unspeakable – any profitable! – acts under the guise of righteousness and maintain a spotless reputation. As we say in Izmir: he who stabs last stabs longest.”

How did you approach this war at its outset? Did you have an initial strategy?

“Early on my objective was to be as non-threatening as possible while building strength. We were well placed for this strategy as we did not pose a threat to any of the great powers in 1901 and could acquire territory via the Mediterranean without having to play a zero sum game with our neighbours.”

The Sultan pauses, looking uncomfortable.

“I also briefed extremely heavily and slanderously against Italy’s king to both Austrian and Russian diplomats. He eats babies. He refuses to adopt the metric system, et cetera, et cetera.”

So it appears the modest and pious Sultan is just as vicious and opportunistic as the rest of them. This correspondent leaves the new eastern capital of the Empire with a newfound admiration and fear of its conquering sovereign.